Formal Part of Conversion

I thought I'd share the formal part of conversion. After over 4 years it finally came the right time for me to make conversion formal. I knew about 3 months before I was ready but due to the upcoming High Holy Days there was no way I was going to even try to coordinate everything with rabbis. And about a month before the High Holy Days you really don't want to go around too many rabbis because they're already gearing up for the holiest time of the year for Jews. There were 3 parts to my formal conversion. The Beit Din, Mikveh and a brief chapel ceremony.

So how was I feeling before and the day of my conversion? Here are some of the discussions, thoughts and decisions that take place for making the conversion formal.

I picked my Hebrew names and they ended up not having anything to do with my given name. But I did pick a middle name to honor my maternal grandmother and a name that symbolizes to me my first name.

The Beit Din (consists of 3 rabbis to ask questions confirming your conversion).

Things to be prepared for to ensure you're making the right decision are the types of questions you will be asked by the Beit Din? I was given some samples and if you're not ready to denounce the faith you have left you will have a hard time with that one and that is asked. You also have to sign documents stating all this information. This is not a form saying the faith you have left is bad it merely states you have chosen to enter into a covenant with G-d as well as the Jewish community and the Hebrew people in the Jewish faith. My rabbi was on my Beit Din. There was some confusion with that and I'm still not so sure I believe it's ethical to have the rabbi you've been studying with to also be on your Beit Din. I had met 1 of the other 2 rabbis previously as I had corresponded with him via email and attend a few of his services. I didn't know the other rabbi. I did okay with my Q&A but have to admit the rabbi I didn't know I really didn't connect with. However, the other rabbi that I had met I felt his questions were more spiritual and I connected with his questions. My rabbi already knew my answers so she was really more moral support for me.

Some other questions that are asked:

• One question that I found strange was what I was going to do on Dec. 24th. I was honest - for me I have for over 10 years gone to a sweet older lady's house who cooks a Christmas Eve meal after their service for anyone to come to. So far I have always been invited and welcomed even though this woman has a hard time accepting my conversion but at the same time she gave me a Star of David one year as her gift to me. It means a lot to me that she did this all while not liking my decision. Even though this woman calls it a Christmas Eve dinner it's more about seeing people I only get to see once a year and spending time with them. When they pray I just step out of the room discreetly and when the prayer is done I come back in and rarely does anyone notice now.
• I did get asked how I felt about Israel. I'm not into politics so I responded with that adding that since I don't live in Israel I can't guarantee what I see on the news is true but when I do one day visit Israel I plan for it to be a spiritual experience and probably be overwhelmed.
• I was asked how I felt about all the Christmas decor and gift giving that I'm surrounded with no matter where you go and I just told them I have always thought it was commercialized and it doesn't phase me which is how I feel. But having 11 nieces and nephews I do buy them Christmas gifts.
• I also asked if they were to come to my house how they would know my home is a Jewish home and I responded with first they would see a mezuzah at the door and when they came in they might see some Jewish items around the house but most of all I hope they would feel the warmth and love in my house of accepting them into my home.
• They did ask how many Jews I thought lived near me and where I live I would say close to none. And my rabbi chimed in on my behalf stating all the classes I have taken and she knows how dedicated I am to continuing to study and learn so that helped me out.

After the Beit Din came the Mikveh:

I received instructions for the mikveh. I was given the prayers even though they are on the wall so I could practice and be prepared. I had to pack a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and a towel and bathrobe I felt comfortable in and bring it with me.

After the Beit Din I went to the mikveh room

• Took off all jewlery (if someone wears contact lenses those have to be removed as well).
• Brushed my teeth.
• Took a shower and wash your body and hair (you have to be naked for this, no bathing suit, no putting your hair up - yep you read that right).
• Brushed my hair so there are no stray hairs falling off.
• The rabbis waited outside the mikveh room and I let them know when I was ready.
• The Mikveh room is built into three spaces: One is the witnessing space, the other is the prep area, and the third is the mikveh itself.
• My female rabbi was in the mikveh area with me while the other two rabbis were in the witnessing space. This space is built in such a way that they can hear the rabbis instructions to me and my blessings, but couldn't see me.
• My rabbi said a blessing and a prayer (so she told me but I was too nervous to remember that part. I walked down into the mikveh (7 steps for the 7 days of creation - cool - huh - you are re-creating yourself in partnership with G-d). You fully immerse yourself once in the mikveh - this means completely under the water. Your hair is to be wet from the shower, so it shouldn't float up. When you are under the water, you splay your fingers open and at some point lift your feet from the floor. The idea is to be completely surrounded by water.
• ALL THE BLESSINGS ARE WRITTEN ON THE WALL IN FRONT OF YOU, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEMORIZE ANYTHING.
• When I came up, I recited the first blessing: "Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al haTvilah"; then in English: "Blessed are You Adonai, Our Eternal God, Ruler of the Universe, who sanctifies us through mitzvot and has commanded us to immerse".
• I fully immersed again, then recited the 2nd blessing: "Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam, sh'Hecheyanu, v'kiyemanu, v'higi-anu lazman hazeh." In English: Blessed are You Adonai, Our Eternal God, Creator of the Universe, who has blessed me with life, sustained me, and enabled me to reach this moment."
• Then I fully immersed again, then recited the Shema: "Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad" in English: Listen oh Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai alone.
• All three rabbis responded with "Amen" after each blessing sang "siman tov u'mazal tov" which is a way to congratulate you :-)
• Then I was left alone to re-shower and get dressed.
  
  

Then came the chapel service

My rabbi did a brief service where she gave me my official name, blessed me again, presented me with the certificates, and I recited the shema again.

So what were my thoughts after all of this:

I had what I call a few panic attacks the week prior to my conversion as I learned more about the specific details but also being reminded to BREATHE by my rabbi. My Hebrew came out better than expected but it was nice to have my rabbi coaching me and since she's a female I didn't have to have a total stranger helping me along. My Beit Din was and wasn't what I expected. I had some off the wall questions I wasn't expecting and had some questions I totally expected. One rabbi on my Beit Din came across as being very in tune and listening to what I was saying and really helped me along with encouraging words. One of the other rabbis was a little more analytical. My rabbi helped out when she saw I was getting a little confused in my responses so that was really helpful. I put the modesty issue aside for the mikveh which I wasn't sure I could do but I believe G-d helped me with that.

I still had an official naming ceremony to go through at the synagogue I attend the following week:

This is where my rabbi had fun with my nerves since she knew how I hate to be in front of a group of people. Yeah, rabbis do have a sense of humor :-). She told me it was her time to say whatever she wanted. She knew I was nervous about that but was smart to not tell me until the last minute. Less time to panic. She withheld my naming certificate until then. I joked with her that she wanted to make sure I showed up. I was nervous going up to the Torah and had to be coached on the prayers in Hebrew. At the same time everyone was very supportive. She did have me tell why I chose my Hebrew names but by then it was all about getting back to my seat. But I have to say I was still on cloud 9 from everything. There was and still is a sense of peace about my decision to convert to Judaism.

Shabbat

I’m continuously learning each Shabbat. On Friday evenings when I am home I light Shabbat candles and recite the Sh'ma. I don't normally attend the Kabbalat Shabbat service on Fridays except on occasion. This service tends to last anywhere from 45 - 60 minutes. The times I've gone I have found it to be mostly about prayer and I'm not sure if there is always a sermon delivered (however if there is it is very short).

On Saturday I try to make the Torah service so I can study each week’s parsha. I enjoy the Saturday service more because there is more time to be reflective and think about the message. It's also very spiritual to see the Torah brought around and be read from.

I’ve enjoyed the Shabbat dinners I have been to as well. Everyone has their own way of having their meals. Some are more formal than others as well as some are more concentrated on prayer than others. But the one thing they have all had in common is spending time with others.

Keeping things spiritual is the most important thing to me and reconnecting with G-d when it comes to Shabbat.

Jewish Worship and Prayers

How do I feel in a Jewish prayer service?
Peaceful. It’s my time to meditate and join with others to worship G-d. Over the years I have learned the prayers and their meanings the prayers. Understanding what I’m saying when I pray is when the meanings of the words really connect with me. Most of the prayers are said in Hebrew but the Siddur has transliteration for several prayers and there is English interpretation as well.

What do I think is the purpose of prayer?
To remember G-d’s law and what G-d wants us to do in our everyday lives to make this world a better place. To connect and reconnect with G-d and disconnect with the madness of our everyday lives.

Some Jewish terms for either parts of the worship service and items used in worship are:

Siddur
The book containing prayers recited daily, on Shabbat and festivals.

Machzor
A special prayer book used on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. This book has seasonal prayers, melodies and readings for High Holy Days.

Shacharit
Means little morning. Traditional prayers said each morning.

Mincha
Afternoon prayer service.

Ma’Ariv
Evening prayer service held after sundown.

What is the importance of Sh’Ma and when is it recited?
This is the main prayer with verses that come from Deuteronomy. This prayer declares one’s faith in G-d and is recited daily. The following is the first verse with Hebrew transliteration and in English:

"Sh-ma Yis-ra-el A-doh-nai Eh-lo-hay-nu A-doh-nai Echad "
"Hear O Israel, the Lord is Our God, the Lord is One"(Deuteronomy 6:4)

What is a Kippah and when is it worn?
A round covering worn on the head as a symbol of respect and religious observance in the shul. Men are always asked to wear one and for women it’s optional. Also known as a yarmulke or skullcap. I wear a kippah at each service.

What is a Tallit and when is it worn?
A prayer shawl with four fringes that lays across the shoulders. Only worn by Jews. It is required that all Jewish males wear during the service and is optional for women. I will probably get my own even though the synagogue has them available at services.

What are Tefillin and when are they worn?
A pair of small black leather boxes containing pieces of parchment that has verses from the Torah inscribed in them. To lay Tefillin one would wrap the straps to their arm and forehead while reciting prayers except on Shabbat or holidays. Mostly men of very observant faith wear them but some synagogues do allow women to wear them as well.

Aron Kodesh
Holy Ark which is the cabinet that houses the Torah Scrolls and faces east toward Jerusalem.

Ner Tamid
The eternal light in front of the Ark that is always lit.

What is B’Racha and what things or experiences are B’Rachot recited?
These are prayers that thank G-d celebrating for almost anything or any event, i.e. bountiful harvest and allowing us to live for any joyous event and more, engagements, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

Israel

This is definitely a hot topic right now with the fighting going on over in Gaza. As I have watched the news this past week and attending shul (synagogue) today I have had a lot of thoughts and questions go through my mind.

One question I was asked was how can I develop a relationship with Israel and its people? I responded with:

• Continue to study the events that have and are taking place.
• I do try to watch or read Israeli news online and when I can try to find it translated into English. I can read Hebrew better than I can speak it and can pick up on some words but Israeli's are known for talking very fast. But that is work in progress as I continue to take my Hebrew classes.
• I still have the ID tags for the 3 soldiers that were captured in the war the summer of 2006 and they hang on my refrigerator. Two of the bodies have been returned and the fate of the third one is yet to be confirmed. The hope is he is still alive.
• To continue to pray for peace in Israel and all who live there.

As I sat in services this morning I became more aware of how important it is that we pray as a community for peace here in the U.S. as well as in Israel and other countries. Someone asked me if when I was in the Christian church if we ever prayed for other countries. Sadly, in all the ones I attended we did not. Occasionally, we said the Pledge of Allegiance and if there was something going on such as a war it might be mentioned at prayer time. I don't know if that's the way it is in all churches but it was with the ones I attended.

We say a prayer for our country and remember any POW's or MIA's every week and the names are mentioned. Currently there is 1 missing soldier from the U.S. but I never hear anything about him. But he is mentioned every week at my shul. And it doesn't matter if they are Jewish or not - we just want them returned safely to their families. We still mention the 1 missing soldier taken POW in Israel by name as we say the prayer for Israel.

I don't like war but I also believe we have to defend ourselves so I support Israel and know in my heart they are doing what they need to do for the state of Israel and all who live there and call it home.

La'Shana Tova

For those that may not know what La'Shana Tova means is it means Happy New Year! For the Jewish people we celebrated our New Year this past fall. There are similarities in each celebration. They both involve food and drinks (wine) and they both strive for resolutions to do better in the upcoming year.

For the Jewish people we go through something called T'Shuva. The sinner must:

• Realize their sin.
• Feel sincere remorse.
• Try to undo any damage they can.
• Appease the offended of the offense and resolve never to commit the sin again.
• The offender must sincerely request forgiveness.
• The offended is required to grant forgiveness by the 3rd request.

Jews examine what they have done in the past year. The service is long and a special prayer book is used known as the Makhzor. The U-ne-ta-neh Toh-Kef is a prayer addressing the main theme: Life and Death. Jews are enouraged to observe the holiday in a positive outlook so G-d will accept their repentance and extend their lives. Honey is supposed to be served at all meals and slices of apples are to be dipped in it. A special prayer is to be recited; May it be Thy will, O Lord, our G-d, to grant us a year that is good and sweet. Traditions say on Rosh Hashana our actions are reviewed and judged by G-d. Jews are to reflect on their mistakes of the past year and to resolve to do better in the future. New clothing is to be worn and unusual foods are eaten. Honey represents the hope for a sweet year as well as symbolizing the Land of Israel.

So, as we get ready to bring in the secular new year it is also a time of reflection and to do better.

A few of questions I was asked during my conversion process:

The historical events commemorated at Chanukah:

The Macabee’s (a.k.a. Hasmoneans) led the Jews to victory freeing them to worship their own way. In 167 B.C.E. the Syrian Emperor, Antiochus wanted to destroy Judaism. When they saw the Temple’s degradation they immediately decided to rebuild it to a state of ritual purity. After this was completed they found one cruse of uncontaminated olive oil for one day. The Jews knew it would take 8 days to prepare ritually permitted oil. But, then a miracle happened and the oil that was to last only 1 day continued to burn for 8 days.


What does a Chanukah Menorah symbolize?

A Chanukah Menorah is a candelabrum, with 8 openings for candles and a 9th opening that is elevated and known as the Shemash. The Shemash candle is lit first and lights the other candles. The Menorah should be placed near a window for everyone to see. This is done to let people who pass by know the miracle of oil lasting for 8 days.


How would I respond to the Jewish family who displays a Christmas tree in their home?

I don’t have a problem with Christmas trees. In this day and age there are many interfaith families. If I want people to be respectful of my beliefs then I need to be respectful of others. When I have a tree it is decorated with Winnie the Pooh ornaments because I collect “Pooh” items. There is no sentimental meaning attached to a Christmas for me.

So, what are my thoughts one year later...

I enjoy Chanukah in fact tonight will be the second night of Chanukah. I enjoy lighting the candles and chanting the prayers each night. I turn off all the lights and just sit and meditate until the candles burn out. I have 2 candle menorahs and I light them both. I also have an activity menorah geared for kids and I bring that out too. In fact, my menorahs are displayed all year long on my mantle. I don't get into buying presents but then I don't have kids (unless you count my dogs). I have bought presents for a friend of mine's kids if I'm going to see them over the holidays. I would hate for Chanukah to get as commercialized as Christmas. I don't know if it is over in Israel but I only hope not. I see so many people who celebrate Christmas and they are stressed out and the holidays should not be that way. At the same time I believe if you allow yourself to stress over buying presents and making sure you keep up with the neighbors then you have nobody to blame but yourself. Last year I went to the Dollar Store and bought all my nieces and nephews their Christmas gifts. Whether or not they liked what they got I have no idea but they also have more things than they need. This year I'm making their gifts and I have no doubt that most will end up in the garbage. But somebody needs to start letting them know that it's the thought and meaning behind the gift that is important and not the gift itself.

I have talked with rabbis who either don't believe in the story behind Chanukah or dislike the holiday itself because of the gift giving. I'm baffled why these rabbis don't believe in the story behind Chanukah. I have no doubts that we don't know the entire story of everything but I do believe in my heart that these events happened especially with the oil for the candle. As for the gift giving all I can say is it is what you make of it. If you get caught up in the gift giving and don't like it then change things.

So for me and my house I'll just keep giving my dogs an extra treat each night of Chanukah as I light the candles and say the prayers.

My background

I grew up in the Christian (Disciples of Christ) church which is more predominantly known in the Midwest. In theory, it is a very liberal and open minded philosophy of beliefs but in reality it isn't. It's like most other places of worship where the congregation members define how liberal or conservative they are going to be.

I was baptized on December 25, 1977. We had been going to a church my parents still attend for about 7 or 8 months and the minister announced he was leaving at the end of the month. My parents decided they and I should join. My mom asked if I wanted to be baptized and I said okay and asked a friend of mine if they were going to join and she said yes and if she wanted to be baptized with me and she said yes. I went to Sunday school but that was about it and neither of us knew much. It was a formality and something done for our families.

One thing that has always stood out for me as I talk to people in the Jewish and Christian faith (especially rabbis and ministers) is how little they know about the other. I asked a friend of mine who is a Christian minister once if she was taught anything about the Jewish faith while in seminary and she said yes. She responded with they challenged you to think about why you believe what you do. I wonder if they do that for rabbis while they are in school... It seems that at least where I am from if you say you are Christian or from the Christian faith everyone assumes you are Baptist. There are many denominations of Christianity as there are several sects of Judaism. Maybe because I love studying theology it comes to my attention a lot more than it does others. I think if there was more education given about other faiths than one a person believes there would be ecumenical programs going on leading to more tolerance of someone else's beliefs. Just a thought.