Monday, April 18, 2011
1st night of Pesach
Well, tonight was the first night of Pesach. I switched things up this year and opted out of going somewhere for a Seder. It's been nice and relaxing. But the best part was getting to talk some friends, some Jewish some not and just talk. Some of it was about Pesach some of it wasn't. But it was nice to just talk and share "stuff" with friends. It was nice to come offline for a bit also. I still have the option of going somewhere for the 2nd night but I think I'm going to opt out again. It's nice to have these options and have people think of me enough to invite me but getting home at 1AM or 2AM from a Seder isn't what I wanted to do this year. While I'm not doing the traditional Seder I still very attached in my heart to the Jewish community that I love so dearly.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Pesach
So Pesach is upon us. I always struggle with Seders. I know we're always supposed to either have/attend a Seder the first 2 nights. But for me it's also a time of reflection and remember what the Jews went thru when they left Egypt and the freedom that came with being released from slavery.
As I watch what is being said on a listserve I participate in I see other Jews by Choice struggling with some of the same things. Pesach tends to be more for those with families. I'm single and only have 2 dogs. I have no children. I love kids so the kids aren't the issue. But how does a single person fit into a family oriented event. Yeah, most folks my age have kids whether they're married or not. That's just not the way it's worked for me so far in my life. I also tend to be more casual than other Jewish families I'm in contact with. I don't mind dressing up for dinner but I'm just not a white tablecloth and napkins and elbows off the table type gal. I dread getting asked the same questions by others at the Seder... what kind of job do I have? am I married? why did I convert? what denomination of Christianity was I? As I sit there answering their questions I find myself being so far away from their world. I know they mean well and it's just casual conversation which is why I oblige and give polite answers. I know as well as they do I can't explain some of these answer in 2 sentences much less one evening of conversation. So then the awkwardness begins.
Don't get me wrong the Jewish friends I have especially at the shul I attend are wonderful folks and are great examples of how to live a Jewish life. I love them dearly and have a lot of respect for them. Not to mention they have taught me a lot and allow me to continue to ask questions and provide answers. I'm just not good in large groups of people and there tends to be at least 15 people at these Seders. Some know how I feel about being in groups of people. They say they're going to get me to overcome this but I don't think there is enough wine for me to drink to do so. So this year I'm taking Pesach one day at a time and spend more time reflecting on what I believe G-d wants for me and do it.
As I watch what is being said on a listserve I participate in I see other Jews by Choice struggling with some of the same things. Pesach tends to be more for those with families. I'm single and only have 2 dogs. I have no children. I love kids so the kids aren't the issue. But how does a single person fit into a family oriented event. Yeah, most folks my age have kids whether they're married or not. That's just not the way it's worked for me so far in my life. I also tend to be more casual than other Jewish families I'm in contact with. I don't mind dressing up for dinner but I'm just not a white tablecloth and napkins and elbows off the table type gal. I dread getting asked the same questions by others at the Seder... what kind of job do I have? am I married? why did I convert? what denomination of Christianity was I? As I sit there answering their questions I find myself being so far away from their world. I know they mean well and it's just casual conversation which is why I oblige and give polite answers. I know as well as they do I can't explain some of these answer in 2 sentences much less one evening of conversation. So then the awkwardness begins.
Don't get me wrong the Jewish friends I have especially at the shul I attend are wonderful folks and are great examples of how to live a Jewish life. I love them dearly and have a lot of respect for them. Not to mention they have taught me a lot and allow me to continue to ask questions and provide answers. I'm just not good in large groups of people and there tends to be at least 15 people at these Seders. Some know how I feel about being in groups of people. They say they're going to get me to overcome this but I don't think there is enough wine for me to drink to do so. So this year I'm taking Pesach one day at a time and spend more time reflecting on what I believe G-d wants for me and do it.
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