Courage

So one of the things talked about during the Torah reading at services yesterday really hit home with me.  One of the rabbi's brought up conversion.  Of course I sat there with anticipation of what he was going to say.  Even though we have talked briefly in the past of my conversion I'm always interested to hear what anyone says regarding this topic.  Basically, you're born Jewish or you are a Jew by Choice was the scenario.  He was asking how many people thought it was a choice to be Jewish.  Some people gave their opinions.  Then I heard him say something I've never heard anyone say before.  He asked how many people would want to have the conversation with their family about converting to another faith.  As he explained he was saying it takes courage to have that conversation and then act upon it.  I had to chuckle as this is so true.  I sat there thinking how many of those people sitting in the pews have ever really thought about what they believe and have ever studied other religions to see how they really feel. 

See, for me I think everyone should search their heart and soul for what they believe and not just go by what someone has told them to believe.  If we all believed everything someone told us to believe we could find ourselves down some paths we don't want or need to be.  And life is already hard enough to maneuver in without knowing your heart. 

You have to know where you came from to get to where you are going.  Life is a journey... 

Lately, I've been going to the Friday night Shabbat services instead of the Saturday morning services.  There's some similarity but at also a little bit of dfiference.  Main difference is the Torahs are not out on Friday nights whereas they are on Saturdays. 

So Friday night I went to one of the services and there was a potluck dinner afterwards.  These are always a struggle for me as I'm not good in these quaint intimate settings.  I prefer to people watch and get lost in the crowd.  I do my best to mingle or interact which I will admit is not very good.  But as I sat there tonight at this dinner I realized I have nothing in common with these people other than being Jewish.  I'm not a doctor or lawyer like most of the people that were there and I'm not about to put on airs that I am.  I work in a doctor's office but that is about it for me.  I am more of a country girl who loves her rock and roll and country music.  A lot of these people would have a heart attack if  they heard some of the music I listen to.  Now don't get me wrong, these people are very nice and pleasant but I just don't share the same interests they do. 

My one pet peeve though is having to explain where I live.  I might as well live on the other side of the world.  There is only 1 synagogue near me and the rest are on the other side of town (or world) .  I was almost ready to get a sign and hold it up letting folks know I am aware of that hour drive to shul. 

My rabbi told me to just jump in and start talking but then instead of just me looking lost in their conversations everyone would looking at me lost in my conversation and it would go nowhere.  I just can't imagine trying to explain some of the music groups I like, Bon Jovi, Nickelback, Mother's Finest just to name a few.  And then to explain what songs they sing... I just don't see it happening.  Just the titles of the songs let alone the lyrics would be enough to scare off these folks. 

So we'll see what next week brings and not to mention the High Holy Days just around the corner.