La'Shana Tova

For those that may not know what La'Shana Tova means is it means Happy New Year! For the Jewish people we celebrated our New Year this past fall. There are similarities in each celebration. They both involve food and drinks (wine) and they both strive for resolutions to do better in the upcoming year.

For the Jewish people we go through something called T'Shuva. The sinner must:

• Realize their sin.
• Feel sincere remorse.
• Try to undo any damage they can.
• Appease the offended of the offense and resolve never to commit the sin again.
• The offender must sincerely request forgiveness.
• The offended is required to grant forgiveness by the 3rd request.

Jews examine what they have done in the past year. The service is long and a special prayer book is used known as the Makhzor. The U-ne-ta-neh Toh-Kef is a prayer addressing the main theme: Life and Death. Jews are enouraged to observe the holiday in a positive outlook so G-d will accept their repentance and extend their lives. Honey is supposed to be served at all meals and slices of apples are to be dipped in it. A special prayer is to be recited; May it be Thy will, O Lord, our G-d, to grant us a year that is good and sweet. Traditions say on Rosh Hashana our actions are reviewed and judged by G-d. Jews are to reflect on their mistakes of the past year and to resolve to do better in the future. New clothing is to be worn and unusual foods are eaten. Honey represents the hope for a sweet year as well as symbolizing the Land of Israel.

So, as we get ready to bring in the secular new year it is also a time of reflection and to do better.

A few of questions I was asked during my conversion process:

The historical events commemorated at Chanukah:

The Macabee’s (a.k.a. Hasmoneans) led the Jews to victory freeing them to worship their own way. In 167 B.C.E. the Syrian Emperor, Antiochus wanted to destroy Judaism. When they saw the Temple’s degradation they immediately decided to rebuild it to a state of ritual purity. After this was completed they found one cruse of uncontaminated olive oil for one day. The Jews knew it would take 8 days to prepare ritually permitted oil. But, then a miracle happened and the oil that was to last only 1 day continued to burn for 8 days.


What does a Chanukah Menorah symbolize?

A Chanukah Menorah is a candelabrum, with 8 openings for candles and a 9th opening that is elevated and known as the Shemash. The Shemash candle is lit first and lights the other candles. The Menorah should be placed near a window for everyone to see. This is done to let people who pass by know the miracle of oil lasting for 8 days.


How would I respond to the Jewish family who displays a Christmas tree in their home?

I don’t have a problem with Christmas trees. In this day and age there are many interfaith families. If I want people to be respectful of my beliefs then I need to be respectful of others. When I have a tree it is decorated with Winnie the Pooh ornaments because I collect “Pooh” items. There is no sentimental meaning attached to a Christmas for me.

So, what are my thoughts one year later...

I enjoy Chanukah in fact tonight will be the second night of Chanukah. I enjoy lighting the candles and chanting the prayers each night. I turn off all the lights and just sit and meditate until the candles burn out. I have 2 candle menorahs and I light them both. I also have an activity menorah geared for kids and I bring that out too. In fact, my menorahs are displayed all year long on my mantle. I don't get into buying presents but then I don't have kids (unless you count my dogs). I have bought presents for a friend of mine's kids if I'm going to see them over the holidays. I would hate for Chanukah to get as commercialized as Christmas. I don't know if it is over in Israel but I only hope not. I see so many people who celebrate Christmas and they are stressed out and the holidays should not be that way. At the same time I believe if you allow yourself to stress over buying presents and making sure you keep up with the neighbors then you have nobody to blame but yourself. Last year I went to the Dollar Store and bought all my nieces and nephews their Christmas gifts. Whether or not they liked what they got I have no idea but they also have more things than they need. This year I'm making their gifts and I have no doubt that most will end up in the garbage. But somebody needs to start letting them know that it's the thought and meaning behind the gift that is important and not the gift itself.

I have talked with rabbis who either don't believe in the story behind Chanukah or dislike the holiday itself because of the gift giving. I'm baffled why these rabbis don't believe in the story behind Chanukah. I have no doubts that we don't know the entire story of everything but I do believe in my heart that these events happened especially with the oil for the candle. As for the gift giving all I can say is it is what you make of it. If you get caught up in the gift giving and don't like it then change things.

So for me and my house I'll just keep giving my dogs an extra treat each night of Chanukah as I light the candles and say the prayers.

My background

I grew up in the Christian (Disciples of Christ) church which is more predominantly known in the Midwest. In theory, it is a very liberal and open minded philosophy of beliefs but in reality it isn't. It's like most other places of worship where the congregation members define how liberal or conservative they are going to be.

I was baptized on December 25, 1977. We had been going to a church my parents still attend for about 7 or 8 months and the minister announced he was leaving at the end of the month. My parents decided they and I should join. My mom asked if I wanted to be baptized and I said okay and asked a friend of mine if they were going to join and she said yes and if she wanted to be baptized with me and she said yes. I went to Sunday school but that was about it and neither of us knew much. It was a formality and something done for our families.

One thing that has always stood out for me as I talk to people in the Jewish and Christian faith (especially rabbis and ministers) is how little they know about the other. I asked a friend of mine who is a Christian minister once if she was taught anything about the Jewish faith while in seminary and she said yes. She responded with they challenged you to think about why you believe what you do. I wonder if they do that for rabbis while they are in school... It seems that at least where I am from if you say you are Christian or from the Christian faith everyone assumes you are Baptist. There are many denominations of Christianity as there are several sects of Judaism. Maybe because I love studying theology it comes to my attention a lot more than it does others. I think if there was more education given about other faiths than one a person believes there would be ecumenical programs going on leading to more tolerance of someone else's beliefs. Just a thought.

My Hebrew Name

I've thought about where to start on here as I looked through my journal. That's tough because my journal is over 50 pages. So I thought why not start with my Hebrew name.

Kochava means Star in Hebrew. You can pronounce it Kohava or Kokava (there is no ch sound in the Hebrew language). I believe the stars are our guardian angels looking over us and helping G-d to guide us through our journey here on this earth. I love looking at the stars at night and seeing them twinkle. I feel as though that twinkle is a wink or a nod that everything is going to be okay. And that is especially helpful on days that haven't been so good.

My middle name is Vered (and I kind of wished I had taken another spelling but I didn't). Vered means Rose and I chose that name in memory of my maternal grandmother who's maiden name was Rose. Even though she was not Jewish (she was an Irish/Cherokee Indian), she was the sweetest person I ever knew and if there is a such thing as a saint she would be one. She was always very welcoming and accepting of everyone whether she knew them or not. I used to watch her quilt in the summers when I would go visit and from her I now know how to quilt. When she passed I was given all her quilting that was yet to be completed. And even though it's been 10 years I am still working on finishing her king size Lonestar quilt. I don't quilt traditional quilts as she did but I like to take an idea or picture that usually swims around in my head for months and eventually put it into a quilt.

Choosing my Hebrew names was very spiritual to me. I opted not to go with my English given name so I began looking through a book. As I read the names and put down on paper the ones I liked I then wrote down my reasons. As soon as I wrote out why I liked Kochava Vered it was decided and my rabbi that I converted with immediately agreed.

Beginning to share my journey

December 9th was my 1 year anniversary of my formal conversion into Judaism. It brought back many memories of my journey. I have been asked over the years why I wanted to convert and I've always given the short and brief answer. So, I've decided now maybe it's time to give the long answers. I've never shared my journal with anyone other than the rabbi I converted with. But now I think it's time to dust that journal off a year after putting it on the shelf and post bits and pieces and think about how I've grown and continue to grow spiritually. At times my journey was like being on cloud 9 and there were times it was dark and grey like a storm cloud. So as I begin to post I hope you enjoy the journey with me because even though I have formally converted the journey continues.