Formal Part of Conversion

I thought I'd share the formal part of conversion. After over 4 years it finally came the right time for me to make conversion formal. I knew about 3 months before I was ready but due to the upcoming High Holy Days there was no way I was going to even try to coordinate everything with rabbis. And about a month before the High Holy Days you really don't want to go around too many rabbis because they're already gearing up for the holiest time of the year for Jews. There were 3 parts to my formal conversion. The Beit Din, Mikveh and a brief chapel ceremony.

So how was I feeling before and the day of my conversion? Here are some of the discussions, thoughts and decisions that take place for making the conversion formal.

I picked my Hebrew names and they ended up not having anything to do with my given name. But I did pick a middle name to honor my maternal grandmother and a name that symbolizes to me my first name.

The Beit Din (consists of 3 rabbis to ask questions confirming your conversion).

Things to be prepared for to ensure you're making the right decision are the types of questions you will be asked by the Beit Din? I was given some samples and if you're not ready to denounce the faith you have left you will have a hard time with that one and that is asked. You also have to sign documents stating all this information. This is not a form saying the faith you have left is bad it merely states you have chosen to enter into a covenant with G-d as well as the Jewish community and the Hebrew people in the Jewish faith. My rabbi was on my Beit Din. There was some confusion with that and I'm still not so sure I believe it's ethical to have the rabbi you've been studying with to also be on your Beit Din. I had met 1 of the other 2 rabbis previously as I had corresponded with him via email and attend a few of his services. I didn't know the other rabbi. I did okay with my Q&A but have to admit the rabbi I didn't know I really didn't connect with. However, the other rabbi that I had met I felt his questions were more spiritual and I connected with his questions. My rabbi already knew my answers so she was really more moral support for me.

Some other questions that are asked:

• One question that I found strange was what I was going to do on Dec. 24th. I was honest - for me I have for over 10 years gone to a sweet older lady's house who cooks a Christmas Eve meal after their service for anyone to come to. So far I have always been invited and welcomed even though this woman has a hard time accepting my conversion but at the same time she gave me a Star of David one year as her gift to me. It means a lot to me that she did this all while not liking my decision. Even though this woman calls it a Christmas Eve dinner it's more about seeing people I only get to see once a year and spending time with them. When they pray I just step out of the room discreetly and when the prayer is done I come back in and rarely does anyone notice now.
• I did get asked how I felt about Israel. I'm not into politics so I responded with that adding that since I don't live in Israel I can't guarantee what I see on the news is true but when I do one day visit Israel I plan for it to be a spiritual experience and probably be overwhelmed.
• I was asked how I felt about all the Christmas decor and gift giving that I'm surrounded with no matter where you go and I just told them I have always thought it was commercialized and it doesn't phase me which is how I feel. But having 11 nieces and nephews I do buy them Christmas gifts.
• I also asked if they were to come to my house how they would know my home is a Jewish home and I responded with first they would see a mezuzah at the door and when they came in they might see some Jewish items around the house but most of all I hope they would feel the warmth and love in my house of accepting them into my home.
• They did ask how many Jews I thought lived near me and where I live I would say close to none. And my rabbi chimed in on my behalf stating all the classes I have taken and she knows how dedicated I am to continuing to study and learn so that helped me out.

After the Beit Din came the Mikveh:

I received instructions for the mikveh. I was given the prayers even though they are on the wall so I could practice and be prepared. I had to pack a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and a towel and bathrobe I felt comfortable in and bring it with me.

After the Beit Din I went to the mikveh room

• Took off all jewlery (if someone wears contact lenses those have to be removed as well).
• Brushed my teeth.
• Took a shower and wash your body and hair (you have to be naked for this, no bathing suit, no putting your hair up - yep you read that right).
• Brushed my hair so there are no stray hairs falling off.
• The rabbis waited outside the mikveh room and I let them know when I was ready.
• The Mikveh room is built into three spaces: One is the witnessing space, the other is the prep area, and the third is the mikveh itself.
• My female rabbi was in the mikveh area with me while the other two rabbis were in the witnessing space. This space is built in such a way that they can hear the rabbis instructions to me and my blessings, but couldn't see me.
• My rabbi said a blessing and a prayer (so she told me but I was too nervous to remember that part. I walked down into the mikveh (7 steps for the 7 days of creation - cool - huh - you are re-creating yourself in partnership with G-d). You fully immerse yourself once in the mikveh - this means completely under the water. Your hair is to be wet from the shower, so it shouldn't float up. When you are under the water, you splay your fingers open and at some point lift your feet from the floor. The idea is to be completely surrounded by water.
• ALL THE BLESSINGS ARE WRITTEN ON THE WALL IN FRONT OF YOU, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEMORIZE ANYTHING.
• When I came up, I recited the first blessing: "Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam, asher kidshanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu al haTvilah"; then in English: "Blessed are You Adonai, Our Eternal God, Ruler of the Universe, who sanctifies us through mitzvot and has commanded us to immerse".
• I fully immersed again, then recited the 2nd blessing: "Baruch Ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melekh HaOlam, sh'Hecheyanu, v'kiyemanu, v'higi-anu lazman hazeh." In English: Blessed are You Adonai, Our Eternal God, Creator of the Universe, who has blessed me with life, sustained me, and enabled me to reach this moment."
• Then I fully immersed again, then recited the Shema: "Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad" in English: Listen oh Israel, Adonai is our God, Adonai alone.
• All three rabbis responded with "Amen" after each blessing sang "siman tov u'mazal tov" which is a way to congratulate you :-)
• Then I was left alone to re-shower and get dressed.
  
  

Then came the chapel service

My rabbi did a brief service where she gave me my official name, blessed me again, presented me with the certificates, and I recited the shema again.

So what were my thoughts after all of this:

I had what I call a few panic attacks the week prior to my conversion as I learned more about the specific details but also being reminded to BREATHE by my rabbi. My Hebrew came out better than expected but it was nice to have my rabbi coaching me and since she's a female I didn't have to have a total stranger helping me along. My Beit Din was and wasn't what I expected. I had some off the wall questions I wasn't expecting and had some questions I totally expected. One rabbi on my Beit Din came across as being very in tune and listening to what I was saying and really helped me along with encouraging words. One of the other rabbis was a little more analytical. My rabbi helped out when she saw I was getting a little confused in my responses so that was really helpful. I put the modesty issue aside for the mikveh which I wasn't sure I could do but I believe G-d helped me with that.

I still had an official naming ceremony to go through at the synagogue I attend the following week:

This is where my rabbi had fun with my nerves since she knew how I hate to be in front of a group of people. Yeah, rabbis do have a sense of humor :-). She told me it was her time to say whatever she wanted. She knew I was nervous about that but was smart to not tell me until the last minute. Less time to panic. She withheld my naming certificate until then. I joked with her that she wanted to make sure I showed up. I was nervous going up to the Torah and had to be coached on the prayers in Hebrew. At the same time everyone was very supportive. She did have me tell why I chose my Hebrew names but by then it was all about getting back to my seat. But I have to say I was still on cloud 9 from everything. There was and still is a sense of peace about my decision to convert to Judaism.